I am not a “Tiger Mom” as Amy Chua defines in “The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, but because I am Asian, I understand why she parents with no tolerance for failure and an undivided attention to academics and approved extracurricular activities. I too want my children to be prodigies, but will get there in an environment that is focused and includes play dates and a vacation to Disney.  Maybe I am a Buffalo Mother (the buffalo (or ox) comes before the tiger in the Chinese zodiac and is more level-headed and reasonable).

I agree with Amy Chua that “nothing is fun until you are good at it.”  It’s completely logical that you have to invest time to get good at something.   I don’t want to force my girls into something that I consider acceptable, I want them to find something they enjoy, something they are interested and passionate about and want to spend time doing.  Of course, I would love them to like the same passions I have…snowboarding, surfing, golf…it would only be perfect because I could spend time doing my favorite things with my favorite people.  But, my girl’s lives are their own and so are their interests and passions.

This past year my Princess started to really show interests in certain activities.

She loves to cook.  Real food, fake food, in her indoor kitchen, in her outdoor kitchen, any food, any kitchen.

She loves to drive.  She definitely gets this from her father.

She loves to ride horses.  I will secretly live through her if she wants to be an equestrian.

She loves to ride her bike.  It will make my husband’s life if she becomes a BMX rider.

She loves to play golf.

She loves to dance.

She is so creative.

She loves acrobatics.

I started to have anxiety ensuring I expose my girls to their soon-to-be interests and passions.  I have calmed this anxiety with a plan to (1) expose them to a wide variety of activities, (2) be attentive to the ones they enjoy and do the best at, then (3) find the best instructors and facilities to advance their skills.  As a parent who likes to be in control, I am realizing more and more as I go through raising my girls through their different stages of life that not everything will be perfect, not everything will go as planned, and to just do my very best.

Love the Buffalo Mother,
Chrissy

This summer my Princess, my Baby, and my Grouchy Husband and I went to a carnival that was in town for a couple of days.  You could see the carnival on a road I drive by often and everytime my Princess saw it, it made her even more excited to go.  She was so happy the day we planned to go…I love to see her like this.

Even my Baby was happy at the carnival.  She didn’t do much besides a lot of people watching but that was enough fun.

The Tragedy…

The first ride my Baby went on was a train.  It was slow, you could walk faster then this train moved.  She didn’t feel any of the excitement she usually feels on rides so when we asked her if she wanted to ride on the roller coaster, she jumped at the opportunity.  This would be my Baby’s first roller coaster!  It was a mini roller coaster, small enough to take on a traveling carnival.  When it was her turn in line to be measured, she was an inch shorter then the height requirement.  The parents of the other children that were not tall enough ignored the conductor’s warning and let their kids go on the ride.  I was unsure what to do.  Though I should have seen it as a sign when the conductor singled me out to personally tell me that the height requirement is to make sure their arms are long enough to grab the front bar or else they will miss it and get a bloody lip, I ended up giving into the peer pressure from the other parents and let her go on the ride.

The ride starts and within ten seconds it’s too fast and my Baby is crying.  The ride goes around a few times…she is balling.  I am trying to calm her down from behind the gates, but the roller coaster is too fast and she is scared.  The conductor finally sees her crying and stops the ride.  He helps my sobbing daughter out of the car and she has a bloody lip.  He was nice, he didn’t say “I told you so”, which just made me feel worse.

After a lot of hugs and kisses and paper towels, my Baby finally stopped crying and her lip stopped bleeding.  She didn’t want to go on anymore rides but we couldn’t leave the carnival because this tragedy might scare her from going on rides forever…even the super slow train!

After much convincing and her watching the speed of this car ride, she decides to go on.  I think it was the pink sparkly car that really convinced her.  She can’t resist anything that’s pink and sparkly.  My Baby was still a little cautious being on a ride so soon after her tragedy.

After a couple of times in the pink sparkly car the memories (or nightmares) of the roller coaster were gone and she was all smiles on the rides for the rest of the night.

What I learned at the carnival:

• I am the protector…and even if other parents are telling me it’s ok and my daughter is begging me with her puppy dog eyes, I need to trust my gut and always do what will keep my babies safe.
• The height requirement on rides is not phony.  It’s there for a reason and I should abide by it always.
• Don’t create fears.  They will come naturally so I should eliminate as many as possible by creating great experiences.

A parent who survived a tragedy at the carnival,
Chrissy xoxo

One afternoon when we were visiting my parents upstate, I built a fort for the girls using a sheet, some stools and the couch.  This fort transformed the family room into a magical kingdom where Mimi was the princess (of course), I was the queen but somehow had to let Mimi boss me around (go figure), and Moysee was the helper (or at least tried to be).  Moysee was very interested in what went on under the fort.

The blue chair (that is currently turned around) was the throne that Mimi sat in.  The pillows were for Moysee and I to sit on when Mimi was telling us what we had to do.  We had to do things like get Mimi a snack and drink, sing songs, brush her hair…she was very demanding.

Moysee was finally allowed to come under the fort.  She tried to sit on the throne but was quickly shooed away.

Since Moysee was the helper she had to hold up the fort when it started to sag.

We eventually had to stop playing under the princess fort because Moysee kept tearing it down.  I think it was her baby passive aggressive way of telling Mimi she didn’t like being bossed around.  Next time I’ll have to build a fort big enough for two princesses.

Princess fort builder, Chrissy xoxo

Mimi’s first day of preschool was yesterday.  This year, unlike the last two years, she was excited to go back to school.  This will be her third year at the Montessori school so I think that has something to do with it and though I’ve tried my best to make these few weeks in between camp and school fun, I know I can’t compete with hanging out with kids her own age….she’s only 4 and I’m already second best.  This year I decided to buy her little girl trendy clothes instead of little girl cutie clothes.  She looks so grown up in her tissue t’s, skinny pants, slim fit cords, cardigans…I might slip in a velour jumper just to keep her from growing up too fast.

Even with her mary janes she looks all grown up.

This is how she really wants to pose in front of the camera.  Jeff and I both know we are in major trouble when she’s a teenager.  Jeff’s already talking about not being able to handle boys coming to the door or boyfriends.  She’s only 4 so he has a few years to get himself together.

Mimi wanted me to take a picture of her funny pose.  Moysee is Mimi’s best audience…but I guess that’s what little sisters are for.

And she wanted me to take a picture of her dancing with her new shoes.  I love these shoes.  I wish they came in my size and I could get away with wearing them.

Mimi had a great first day of school.  She played in the playground, rode bikes in the bike yard, read a book about a kangaroo, ate trail mix, finished everything in her lunch box, took a nap, and that’s all she could remember.

I love you Mimi.  Don’t grow up too fast.  Love always, Mama xoxo

Tomorrow is Mimi’s first day of preschool and on the eve of this memorable day, I am sharing her pictures from the last day of school last year.  I wish I could share pictures from her first day of school last year but I just had Isabella and totally forgot to take her picture (I was lucky to get her to school close to on time).

Mimi: Mama…do I have to take pictures?
Me: Yes baby, you look beautiful and I am your mom so I have to.

Me: Smile!
Mimi: ok fine…Cheeesssse.
Me: Mimi! That is a totally fake smile. And stand still!

Mimi: ok!
Me: Now smile.

Me: Much better.

Outfit is cleaned and ironed, lunch is packed, nap mat is packed, camera is ready.  We are ready for preschool tomorrow!

Chrissy xoxo

One day when we were celebrating Kimbie’s birthday last weekend, we visited The Sagamore in Bolton Landing, NY in the Lake George area.  I was very much looking forward to visiting this resort because of all its great reviews.  The weather was beautiful.  We enjoyed lunch at the Pavilion, their restaurant right on the water.  After lunch we walked around the grounds a little bit.  It was a perfect day.

While walking around, I saw a bride taking pictures and she looked like a girl I went to high school with, Christina Lane.  Come to find out afterwards on Facebook (of course), it was Christina!  What a small world!

In the morning, my Dad and Moysee relaxed a little bit before they had to get ready.

This was our view at lunch.  I could have stayed there for hours…and then quickly came back to reality because Moysee needed a diaper change and Mimi needed to go to the bathroom.

My sisters!

The basil plant table setting.  Behind our table was a garden full of tomatoes, rosemary, basil, chives, all of which are used in their food.

Moysee enjoying her congee (粥).

Mimi having fun coloring at the table.

Mimi and Ee-ee.

The girls, my mom, and me.  Three generations of ladies.

The Sagamore is a family friendly resort and there are so many things at the resort, in Bolton Landing, and in Lake George that the girls would have so much fun doing.  This resort is definitely on the list of family vacation destinations.

See you soon Sagamore, Chrissy xoxo

This weekend we found out my sister, Kimbie, and her boyfriend, Mike are engaged!  I saw the ring on her finger before she could tell me the exciting news.  Mike proposed in a park near his house and then they celebrated with a romantic dinner.  When we were at Haddie’s during Kimbie’s Labor Day race track birthday celebration, Matty brought two bottles of Dom Perignon so we could toast their engagement and then eat fried chicken!

Here is a little summary from my sister about Mike:
Mike is very much a Bostonian (sorry- he loves the Red Sox). He grew up in Weston, a suburb of Boston. He graduated from Harvard, and then spent some time volunteering and teaching. He went to Medical School at UMass, and did a Family Medicine Residency at Brown University. After residency, Mike worked in Africa and Nepal before coming back to Boston.

He currently works part-time as a policy analyst for the Massachusetts Health Connector, the agency that was created to expand health coverage in the state. He also sees patients in an urgent care. Mike continues to help develop a Global Health program for students at his medical school, with a specific interest in Nicaragua.

He comes from a small, quiet family- the exact opposite of our family. But he has really enjoyed getting to know everyone and is great with Mimi and Isabella. He is embracing our big, loud family. But he is still learning to pace himself at our all-day eating events.

My sister’s engagement brings back memories of my own engagement.  Jeff purposed on the beach in Miami, one of our favorite places to visit.  After a delicious dinner and many, many, many cocktails, Jeff wanted to take a walk on the very very windy beach.  I really wanted to change into my pajamas and crawl under the covers of my bed, but Jeff seemed to really want to take this walk.  Jeff is many things, a conversationalist is not one of them.  He kept asking me questions and talking on the beach (a sign I should have noticed something was up).  I think he was nervous because after what felt like an hour of talking (and shivering), I told him I was so cold and started to walk back to the hotel.  That was the kick of confidence he needed because he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.  It was an amazing night, I was so excited, it was like a dream.  And now six years later, we have two kids and a hot dog shop.

I wish Kimbie and Mike a wonderful life together.  I welcome Mike with open arms to our crazy family.

Chrissy xoxo

This summer at my parent’s house, I made up a game for Mimi to practice riding her 3-wheel bike.  We played everyday and she had so much fun!

For the first part of the game, Mimi started in the middle of the driveway, turned onto the street, then rode up the hill to the two green electrical boxes at the corner of my parent’s property.  She used the momentum coming down the driveway, peddled through the turn to get up the hill.  It took her a little while to get over being scared going so fast down the driveway but once she did, she was flying.

The second part of the game, Mimi started at the electrical boxes, then turned onto the driveway up to the middle crack.  She turned those corners tight!

There was no slowing down until she reached the crack.

And after she reached the finish line, she would raise her hands like a champion!

My husband would love nothing more then for one of the girls to show some interest in an Xtreme motorsport.  Me, I prefer something a little bit safer like tennis, golf, or the violin.  I look forward to the girls finding their identity and their passions, I just hope it’s not very fast and dangerous.

Chrissy xoxo