Today my mom went to a wake of someone who was like an uncle to her when she first came to the United States at age 16. Her father, my grandfather, and uncle were partners in a restaurant in Chinatown and my mom worked as a hostess. My grandfather had a massive heart attack when my mom was 20, he survived with only a fourth of his heart working and uncle pushed him out of the business. My grandparents were so angry and did not see or speak to him after that time. My mom did not see uncle for over 40 years, until his wake. My grandparents would not attend.
During Chinese New Year season, part of preparing for the new year is to settle debts and unfinished business, which includes repairing broken friendships. You don’t want bad feelings or incomplete intentions to be carried into the new year, because remember, the goal during the time of preparation is to ensure as much good fortune as possible in the new year.
Grouchy Husband and I went out to dinner tonight with friends in town from New Orleans. We spent many years there, it’s where we first started dating and where we knew we would be married one day (even though we broke up for 6 months when I moved back to NY). His closest group of friends live in New Orleans. Events from the past had distanced our relationship with these friends that were in town. It has weighed heavy on my heart to repair this relationship. I was looking forward to dinner and we had a great time.
Going to the wake and seeing uncle’s family was so nice for my mom. All of the grandchildren and events she had heard about through friends she got to see and hear about in person. She had such a sense of closure and relief.
Repairing our relationship with our friends was high on my unfinished business list. Too many years had past. I’m so happy to have spent time with them and look forward to the next.
The Dumpling Mama xo