My Grouchy Husband and I had a big argument last week. I am not a yeller and my Grouchy Husband isn’t much of a talker, so it’s a lot of me talking mad. I tend to internalize my feelings until I’m about to explode which is what happened the other day. This is one of my worst traits and something I’m working on. As life has become more complex with homes, businesses, kids, our marriage has definitely been challenged. We have always been very different people, our work is different, our passions are different, our priorities are different. I’ve always liked that we were so different because it allows us to compliment each other, but have always known we would have to work much harder to keep the connection in our relationship. Recently, it feels like the only things holding us together are our two girls.
One of the things we talked about was the complete control I have over the girls. What they eat, what they wear, where they go to school, what activities they do, their social lives, all of it. My first reaction was of course, I am their mother, I am the one at home raising them, I should have the control. I love these girls more then my life, so of course the control freak in me must have complete control. As I thought some more, I realized this is not fair.
My Grouchy Husband works a lot. He barely has enough time to see the girls every day let alone shop for them, feed them, or research extra-curricular activities for them. One of his passions is riding motorcycles and he would like our 2 and 5-year old to ride also. When he told me this all I could think of was “there is just no way”! This is definitely on my “not allowed” list, next to illegal drug use and eating fast food. But as I have come to realize it is not fair I have complete control over the girls, I decided to compromise and allow them to take motorcycle lessons. THANKFULLY, there is no such thing for children. Since riding motorcycles was not an option, I decided to go with another one of his passions…sneakers. He picked out their sneakers…can you tell? It felt good to compromise and after my Grouchy Husband’s shock, I think he felt good also.
We’re in a better place now after our argument. Our marriage will always be a work in progress but we are working on it together.
Is it hard for you to compromise? Have you had to compromise anything lately?
Learning to compromise,